Lupin's transformation
by Starhazel
Summary: The night of a full moon, Lupin's first transformation. During dinner in the Great Hall, Lupin feels an illness he has never felt before. He leaves James and Sirius worried and concerned as he returns to the dormitories unaware of the night of terror that lies before him.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: I don't own any characters, they belong to J. . I know the story isn't technically accurate aswell

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"Are you alright Lupin? You don't look too good"

"H-He's right, you look very pale"

"Remus! ... Is he even listening to us?"

_Aguamenti_

Cool water dripped down my burning forehead causing an uncontrollable shiver to spread through my body. With a sudden jerk and a jolt of pain behind my watering eyes, I was transported back to reality and flinched at the clatter of voices that sounded through the Great Hall. I focused my eyes to find Sirius, James and Peter staring at me with wide eyes. I knew they'd been talking to me, but I had no idea what they'd been saying.

"Sorry, I – don't know what happened" With that my chest tightened, but I managed to keep my body under control, I didn't want them looking at me any stranger than they were right now. I looked down at my chicken casserole and my stomach churned. I retired to my room with no further explanation; I didn't want to risk opening my mouth. I felt separate to reality as I stumbled back up the Gryffindor tower, I could see people looking at me, but my vision blurred and distorted them. I was grateful to see the Fat Lady plaiting her hair.

"Hovelling Hollow" I mouthed, my voice so faint that is was hard to even whisper.

"Dear me child, you look awful!" She exclaimed as she swung forwards to let me scramble in.

Luckily, Gryffindor common room was nearly empty, just a few first years huddled by the fire, probably soaking up as much warmth as possible before Sirius and James turfed them out. My eyes just focused on the stone steps leading up to my dormitory but the frosty blur was closing in and soon I couldn't distinguish anything, just a haze of daring red. My legs were aching as though they were suffering under my weight, I managed to lower myself onto and arm chair, and my head collapsed in my arms. My burning eyes closed and I was immediately sprung into unconsciousness.

I sharp pain seared through my spine causing my body to twist and squirm, a low, strained screech escaped by lips. My eyes darted around the room, and I was surprised to find I was lying in my bed in the dormitory. James passed me a glass of water, I could feel the icy cold spread through my body as I gulped it down. I tried to sit up but my head span as though the whole room had shifted.

"Don't sit up", whispered Sirius, who was sat cross legged at the end of my bed.

I let out a gasp of air "I don't know what's happening"

"You've probably got fever, Peter had it the other week" James said, a creased formed between his eye brows.

"Peter didn't have fever, the little skiver" Sirius' lips turned downwards in disbelief.

I shook my head, this was more than fever, I'd never felt this way. It was as though all the blood was drained from my body, yet I was burning all over.

My eyes started to droop again as James and Sirius continued their conversation in subdued tones. Beads of sweat were sliding down my forehead. James opened the window, and the cool breeze swam through my hair, over my bare skin, sending another uncontrollable shiver through my body. I opened one eye slowly, to look at the full moon beaming in the midnight sky, before I sank yet again into unconsciousness.

Several hours passed, and I tossed and turned in my bed. I dreamt of being chased by a monster as I panted in my sleep, I dreamt of a black beast piercing my skin with its jagged teeth, I dream of being tempted by the devil.

"NOOOOOOOOO" I jolted awake and my body was thrown upright, I was sticky with sweat and trembling uncontrollably as my eyes dashed around the swaying room. Within seconds, James and Sirius were at my side; they exchanged concerned nods of agreement and lifted me out of my bed. My body tensed as my bare feet touched the cold stone floor, but James and Sirius lifted me so my feet barely touched the ground. It was slow progress on the way to the hospital wing; we had to stop when the pain in my spine was so unbearable that it was impossible to stifle my screams. I was slowly losing breath and my throat groaned with each desperate gulp of air. For a brief second, everything turned pale, my back was numbed and my movements slowed down, I felt as though I was pushing my hands through bricks. I heard screaming, screeching, shrieking, the pounding of footsteps hitting the floor as someone fled from me. Perhaps in search for help, perhaps out of fear. My legs failed me and my head was saved from smacking the unforgiving floor by a hand that dug into my cheeks.

Darkness. I dreamt of sprinting, bloody thirsty for my prey. I dreamt of my sharp teeth digging into soft, fragile flesh. A hell bore within me.

"No Remus! Stay with _me_ Remus!" Sirius' voice was hoarse as it pierced my torturous dreams, he was clasping my shoulder as if clutching onto my life. I rolled over, my stomach was burning and as I blinked I was blinded by my blood-red eyelids. Sirius moved his hands to my face.

"Stay with me Lupin," He pleaded, small tears were sliding down his reddened cheeks "I'm here. Help is coming, hold on Remus, _please_ –hold – on"

Another excruciating pain attacked my spine, as if it were being violently reshaped. My jaw locked so I could scream no more, and my back arched, pulling my stomach to the ceiling as if I were being emptied of myself. My eyes must have deceived me as I saw a white veil-like substance exit my chest, leaving me feeling empty and lifeless. My soul was replaced by a fiery burning at the pit of my stomach, I yearned to bite, rip, tear… Staggering on to my four paws, strength flooded through me and I felt invincible. A strong scent stole my attention and I looked down to see a boy with dark shaggy hair at my feet, trembling with fright.

"NO!" the boy screamed "Not the bite! You are not going to kill me!"

His words were undermined by him scrambling to his feet and he started to run away. I caught the weak human with my paw and I felt my claws grasp his skin. He was mine, my first victim. He turned to face me with his mouth wide open in horror, but he did not scream. My chest tightened as I looked into his wet, chocolate eyes, but I did not know this human, he did not deserve to live.

"This isn't you Remus" He croaked, whilst hopelessly attempting to free himself from my clasp. "You know the man you truly are! This heart-"He pounded my chest "This heart is where you truly live! Please…"

His voice wavered and his eyes were streaming tears, but his words meant nothing to me. My anger and fury could not be diminished by anything. He was my prey, and he would be the one to end my insufferable hunger. But as I threw him to floor, a bright light blinded me and I was swept backwards off my meal. A tall thin old man, with long grey hair and beard strode forward and my mind was blessed with an overpowering sense of peacefulness, the fire inside me was extinguished. I looked up to see Sirius, James and Professor Dumbledore staring down at me. An incongruous frown across Dumbledore's face, it was startling to see him unnerved. Even worse, James and Sirius looked afraid of me, as though I was a wild animal who could not be trusted. Crouched on the floor, my head sunk in my arms and I wept for my innocence which was undoubtedly now lost forever.


End file.
